


Books

by Sigrid20002



Series: Slowtember 2020 [6]
Category: One Piece
Genre: "books", Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Universe, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slowtember 2020, They are both self conscious, Worried Vinsmoke Sanji, pre-Water 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26561863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sigrid20002/pseuds/Sigrid20002
Summary: Sanji tries to find shelter in the Sunny's library and distract himself, when he meets the crew's sharpshooter there, cuddled into a blanket and reading a book for a very similar reason. But the cook didn't expect to find him crying.
Relationships: Usopp/Vinsmoke Sanji
Series: Slowtember 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1909006
Comments: 6
Kudos: 81





	Books

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my take for the Slowtember, created by [élod](https://twitter.com/megaelod) on Twitter! It's a challenge to write (or in the original draw) a piece each three days!
> 
> I will continue to write shipping OS, but I will choose them randomly :P
> 
> If you want to check out the Slowtember challenge, do it [here](https://twitter.com/megaelod/status/1299348851405590528) !!

The All Blue is Sanji's dream since he is little. The first time he got to know of All Blue was when he found a book in the Germa Castle's library. He had been hiding from his brothers there and suddenly gotten captivated by the thought of a beautiful place like this truly existing.

He read the book a lot. Every time he had some time to spare, he would be sitting somewhere with his nose in that book.

When his father locked him away, he still had the book. It was his lifeline, the one thing helping him in there. He wanted to be a cook and he wanted to find All Blue.

When Robin gave him the book as a gift, Sanji really tried not to let his emotions show too much, but he assumed she saw the tears in the corner of his eyes. It didn't really matter, it really meant much to him, even though the book was written as a legend for children.

The book has always helped him to overcome the scary times, the times when he didn't feel safe, when he felt like a failure and everything inside him told him he's not worth it. Not worth being saved, not worth his Nakama's affection, their smiles and their love.

It happens rarely that he feels that way, especially since travelling with Luffy and the others. But when it does happen, he retreats into the library and takes the book about All Blue. It's still helping him, the thought that there is something so beautiful out there and he has to see it with his own eyes at least once. He wants to cook with the ingredients this ocean provides.

This day is a day where he needs that feeling again. He feels awful ever since they left Water 7, but today is especially bad. He woke up to a bad dream he can't shake off anymore, but he also can't talk to anyone about it either.

So instead after breakfast and preparing some cold drinks, he makes his way to the library, but when he enters the room, he is surprised to find someone there already and it's not Robin. The ravenhaired girl is relaxing outside, Sanji checked.

Instead he finds their sharpshooter cuddled up in a blanket, deeply absorbed in a book of his own.

Sanji is not sure of what to do. Obviously Usopp didn't notice him yet, so maybe he should just go and try cooking to distract himself. He doesn't want to disturb the sharpshooter.

He's about to turn around again, when he hears a sob escaping the ravenhaired boy, and Sanji freezes.

It takes him by surprise and at first he isn't sure if he hasn't imagined it, but when he looks back at Usopp, even with only his side profile visible, he can see the tears filling his eyes little by little.

Something inside Sanji feels like it's breaking and before he could stop himself, he takes a step towards his friend.

"Usopp?"

The sharpshooter gets startled hard enough to fall from the couch he's been sitting on and a surprised yelp escapes him.

"Wh-.. Sanji!" Usopp quickly gatheres himself. He quickly rubs his eyes and gets on his feet again. "You can't sneak up on someone like that!", he complains, but with an almost playful tone that wouldn't suggest he has been crying mere seconds ago. 

When Sanji doesn't answer, Usopp lets out a nervous laugh. "I was just... checking something, you know? I-.." It is obvious Usopp tries to find an excuse, a lie as quickly as possible. It lets Sanji's heart throb.

"This library is really awesome, you know? It's so big, Robin surely feels at ease being here," Usopp changes the topic, when he realises he doesn't find a good excuse. Instead he relies on diversion for this one. "The Sunny is amazing, Franky really did a great job!"

Sanji doesn't know what to say, because it's so obvious, but he asks himself what would have happened when Usopp noticed him earlier and Sanji didn't hear the sobs. Sure, he can tell when Usopp's lying most of the time, he isn't the best liar per se.

But would Sanji have questioned it? Would he have asked deeper? He probably would have shrugged it off, wouldn't have guessed there is a deeper issue. 

It really doesn't sit right with him that Usopp is that good in hiding when he is hurt or miserable. And it surprises Sanji, because he thought Usopp is very open with it, since he's a pessimist most of the time and does voice his concerns. So it's a shocking revelation and it raises the question how often Usopp hides like this. Behind his jokes and his diversions.

  
Maybe Sanji is overthinking this, maybe Usopp just really misses Kaya or-... the Going Merry...

There is another painful throb in his chest at that thought, because it reminds him of everything that has happened on Water 7. The death of Merry, the fight between Usopp and Luffy... and when they took off without Usopp...

And somehow Sanji knows, Usopp is hiding something big. It probably takes one to know one, Sanji does realize he's probably not even remotely better, hiding in the library everytime he's feeling selfdestructive, but he doesn't want that for Usopp. That's the last thing he wants Usopp to do or feel.

The cook notices that Usopp starts to feel uneasy, probably because Sanji still hasn't said a word and just continues to stare at him.

So Sanji tries to shake off that feeling for now and takes another step towards Usopp, his gaze falling on the book that fell down with the sharpshooter.

"What are you reading?" Sanji asks because he feels that if he confronts Usopp directly, he will shut him out. Sanji knows he's doing that at least.

Usopp looks back down, then he quickly picks up the book. "Ahh, nothing! I mean-..."

Sanji's eyes widen a little, when he catches a glimpse of the familiar cover.

"Liar Noland?" he asks surprised and Usopp sighes deeply, then he lets himself fall back on the couch. 

"Yeah..."

Sanji hesitates for a moment, but then he makes his way over to Usopp and sits down next to him.

"Why?" His voice is soft, making sure Usopp gets that Sanji isn't judging him for that, he's just curious.

Usopp looks back down on the book and his grip around him tightens.

"I.. I know that Noland hasn't been lying about the gold. We proved that. I'm just..." Usopp stops and Sanji honestly has no idea what he's trying to get at, so he waits patiently for Usopp to muster up the courage to continue: "At first I thought Noland and I are quite similar. It sounded like it and you guys thought it too, I know it. I mean, I'm a liar too. That's what I do, what I have been doing all my life."

"Usopp, that's-" Sanji starts but the sharpshooter interrupts him: "No, let me finish."

So Sanji closes his mouth again and just looks at Usopp, who takes a deep breath.

"Then we discovered that Noland hasn't been lying. He told the truth and he even died for it. So I realized Noland and I are actually quite the opposite."

Usopp stares at the picture of Noland at the cover and for a moment it's very silent. But Sanji doesn't want to break it. It's obvious Usopp isn't finished yet, so Sanji waits.

"But I thought about it," Usopp continues after a while. "I can be like Noland. There is a way. I just... have to make all my lies come true."

He raises his head and looks at Sanji now. "I want to be a brave warrior of the sea, so I have to make sure all of my lies about myself come true. Sogeking was a lie too, but I made it reality. So... when I manage to do that, then I'm not just a liar anymore. And then there is no reason for you guys to aband-" He stops himself, shocked at what he almost said, and covers his mouth with his hands quickly. "Ahhh, I mean, then I fulfilled my dream..! That would be great..."

Usopp lowers his head again, so he doesn't notice Sanji's devestated and guilty expression. It doesn't take a genius to guess now, what's been on Usopp's mind all this time. He's afraid. Afraid of being left behind like it almost happened on Water 7. Afraid of not being good enough to be allowed to stay on this ship. Of not being honest enough. Afraid that his lies drive his friends away.

He doesn't expect Sanji to suddenly wrap his arms around Usopp and pull him close.

Usopp freezes immediately, his eyes going wide, but again he can't see Sanji's expression because the blonde is keeping him this close.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Usopp," Sanji wispers and the sharpshooter is shocked to feel the cook tremble heavily. "We're not leaving you behind. We wouldn't have done that. I wouldn't have.."

That's easy to say afterwards, Sanji knows it, but.. there is no way he would have gone without Usopp. Whatever stupid reason the mosshead had been coming up with.

Usopp hasn't expected anything like that, but now he starts trembling himself and tears are forming in his eyes again, soon spilling over and running down his cheeks. He can't stop them.

"I'm sorry that you've been hurting all that time," Sanji speaks softly, his voice breaking towards the end. "I'm sorry we put you through that. It wasn't fair. But I- we would never leave you behind. We need you... I need you..."

Usopp didn't realise how much he needed to hear these words. And he doesn't doubt them, not when they come from Sanji. Not like this, because Usopp can feel the honesty behind it. It's like Sanji has been struggeling with their experiences on Water 7 too. His voice his filled with so much guilt, Usopp is sure Sanji has been thinking about it non-stop as well, his guilt building up constantly.

The sharpshooter finally wraps his arms around Sanji as well, returning the hug and hopefully the comfort. They stay like that for God knows how long until Usopp pulls back again and wipes away the rest of his tears.

"Thank you, Sanji," he says and smiles at the blonde. An honest smile this time. "I'm... I'm glad. You're so strong, I didn't think... Saying that you need me despite being so strong yourself, means a lot to me."

Sanji looks at Usopp for a moment, then he lets his head fall back onto the sharpshooter's shoulder. Usopp is surprised, he didn't think there would be more physical touch after their hug, but Sanji even takes his hand, maybe even subconsciously, but he does.

"You're wrong," Sanji mutters under his breath. "I need you because you **make** me strong... There are times when I don't know if I can take it all. I doubt myself and I feel like I can't fight against it. I feel like... I would just lose if I tried. But seeing you... fighting against these feelings all the time, being so... cheerful despite your worries and your fear... That's what gives me courage and strength to do it too. You are one of the most honest people I know. You're so open with your feelings, your doubts, but you still don't give up. I... really admire that."

Usopp opens his mouth but he closes it again. A warm, tingling sensation spreads in his whole body and he can't believe what he just heard. Sanji.. admires him?

Sanji pulls back now, before Usopp has had the chance to process all of that. The look the cook gives him, sends another shock through his veins and his heart stops for a second. There is no way to describe it in words but he is sure never even once someone has looked at him with this much affection and... love. It's surreal, there is no way Sanji would ever look at him like this, so consequently this has to be a dream.

And there is no way, Usopp is going to waste an opportunity like that, so he wraps his arms around Sanji's neck and leans into a kiss. 

It's like thousands of sparks explode simultaneously everywhere, especially on his lips, but it's too good, he can't stop. Especially when Sanji finally moves and pulls Usopp closer by his hips, so the sharpshooter glides on Sanji's lap easily without them breaking the kiss even for one second.

They forget about their surroundings or their previous worries, all they can feel is their touch, skin to skin.

But they do have to break away for air again, so Usopp leans back again and they gaze at each other, each lost in their own thoughts.

Sanji blinks. "Did that... just happen?" he asks and his voice brings back reality to this surreal situation. It also reminds Usopp that this is indeed not a dream.

The sharpshooter flushes red in an instant and stutters, trying to find a reasonable explanation for what he is doing, so Sanji wouldn't hate him, but he's also aware of Sanji's hands still at his hips, keeping him from leaving. It just makes his confusion and his stuttering worse.

But then Sanji laughs. It's just too adorable to see Usopp trying to gather an excuse when their situation is so painfully obvious.

"I love you," Sanji says, because there is no reason to deny it now. He didn't realise before, even though the thought of losing Usopp hurt more than any physical wound, but now it's so clear that Sanji asks himself how he has missed it before. He is in love with Usopp.

Usopp goes quiet and stares at Sanji in disbelief. His brain has stopped working and provided Usopp with no useful thing to say. Even though Usopp has been the one to initiate the kiss and he's also been aware of his feelings for Sanji for a longer time now. He just thought... he would never have a chance!

"Are you sure?" Usopp suddenly asks, just because he still has no idea of what to say, making Sanji laugh again. The cook then leans into a quick kiss again, but it's so soft that it drags Usopp into another spiral of confusing but exciting sensations.

"Yes, I'm sure," Sanji answers truthfully and there is not much left to say for Usopp. He stares at the cook still, before answering: "I .. I love you too. I really do. For ages now, I just can't believe-" He's cut off by Sanji, hugging Usopp tightly again.

"I'm glad... Because I want to travel the world at your side."

Usopp smiles now and runs his fingers through Sanji's hair. He feels like in just half an hour he suddenly got everything he ever wanted.

"Yeah... Me too."

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm late again and I will probably not finish the next one in time either, but I'm motivated to finish this challenge! Only four OneShots to go :P


End file.
